It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
