Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
