I cannot find my penis.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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