you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
