We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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