i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
as a side note pls kill me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
