so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
