i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
