You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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