i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
