Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My feet surprised me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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