are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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