I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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