Everything about him screamed your future.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize