I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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