Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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