Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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