But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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