i barfeds in our rink
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
