rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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