is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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