You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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