i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
