2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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