Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
