He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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