You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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