so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
