and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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