yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
