hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
