i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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