Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
