In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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