Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
