Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
