did you get engaged???
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
