maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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