He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
