I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Holy sore nipples Batman
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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