bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
