ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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