Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
