My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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