Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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