well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize