This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
