More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
