We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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