Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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