when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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