I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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