i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
