If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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