Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
