I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Randomize
